“No problem, sir,” says the S-M, and when C Company is on parade, he calls out “Atten-shun! Higgins! Your father’s dead!” at which poor Higgins breaks down in tears on parade and has to be escorted away.

The next morning, the colonel once again sends for the sergeant-major and says “Mr. Macintosh, once again C Company are on parade and I regret to say that we have been notified that as a result of her injuries sustained in the accident, Higgins’s mother has now died. And, sergeant-major, when you pass on this news, see to it that you do so more tactfully than yesterday.”

“No problem, sir,” says the S-M, and when C Company is on parade, he calls out “Atten-Shun! Higgins! Prepares to receive bad news of a familial nature. Higgins… wait for it!… your mother’s dead!” and, once again, poor Higgins has led away in tears.

It is three days before C Company is on parade again, and when they are, the colonel once again sends for the sergeant-major, and his face is grave: “Sergeant-major, we have just received the news that in spite of all possible medical attention and a brave fight for life, Private Higgins’s poor sister has tragically died. This was Higgins’s last close family member and I cannot stress strongly enough the need to pass on this news as gently as possible.”

“Don’t you worry, sir,” says the S-M, and when C Company is on parade, he calls out “Atten-shun! All members of C Company who have living sisters, three paces… wait for it!… three paces forward, March! Higgins, where the ‘ell are you going you ‘horrible little man?”

then turns to leave.
The owner says, “You’re all the same, thinking there’s nothing above this material plane of existence. Watch this.” The businessman turns around.

“Voodoo Dildo, keyhole”
To his astonishment, the businessman saw the box violently shake and the dildo rises in the air, floats for a second and hover over to the keyhole in the front door, and starts to fuck it. The dildo fucked the keyhole with such force that the door is unhinged and started cracking.

“Voodoo Dildo, box” The dildo stops fucking the door and returns to the box.
“ILL TAKE IT”, screamed the businessman, and after a lot of negotiation, he finally purchased the dildo and ran home.
He tells his wife about the dildo and how to use it. “Voodoo Dildo, pussy. That’s how you activate it”, the businessman told his wife and went on his business trip.

After 3 days of being horny, the wife finally gave in to her urges and opened the wooden box, took out the dildo and uttered “Voodoo Dildo, pussy”. The dildo shot from her hands and started fucking her. First slowly and then changing speed as the way she wanted.

After an hour of fucking, the wife thought it was enough and she grabbed the dildo. But it didn’t stop fucking her. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to stop the dildo.
She started panicking and called him but he didn’t pick up so she started to dress up and go for the hospital, all the while the dildo still fucking her.

She got in her car and started driving. On the way, she had a huge orgasm and her car served and almost hit another car. A police car saw this and she was stopped at the side of the highway. A policeman approached her.

“Ma’am you almost hit the grey SUV back there, have you been drinking?”
The wife then proceeds to tell him all about her husband and the voodoo Dildo and that she can’t stop it now. The policeman then says,
“Yeah right, Voodoo Dildo my ass.”

can find one for under that amount.
If I can, I will send you a telegram.”

She goes to the market and finds one
for $499. Having only one dollar left,

she goes to the telegraph office and finds
out that it costs one dollar per word.

She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to
bring the truck and trailer. Finally,

she tells the telegraph operator to send
the word “comfortable.”

Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will
she knows to come with the trailer from

just that word?” The redhead replies, “She’s
a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.'”

me!!” “Oh please?” the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice…
“Really, I can’t,” he replied.“My wife loves this beard!!”

The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally gave in.
That night James crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping.

Husband wife and their loversThe wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face, and said,
“Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here. My husband will be home soon!”