Whose Pet is Smarter

I get out of bed.” “I know,” says
the second owner. “How do you know?”
the first demands. “My dog told me.”
From the book Laughter: The Best Medicine

Evils of Alcohol

up and died. “All right, son,”
asked the father, “what does that show you?”
“Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol,
you will not have worms.”