Funny Jokes Hilarious Adult Humor

This is wonderful

The wife checked her husband’s phone and found these names:

. Tender one
. Amazing one
. Lady of my dreams

She called the Tender One and his mother answered.

Then called the Amazing One and his sister answered!

When she dialed the third number her own phone rang!!!!

She cried until she got her eyes swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband, so she gave him her whole month salary to make up for it.

The husband took all the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend whose name was saved as “Gafoor The Mechanic” 😆😆😆

“I’m making love to my wife,”….

the man answers indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”

“Well,” said the man, “to tell the truth neither did I until you flashed that light on her face.”

young man supposed to do he asked?”
The doctor replied: “The younger man will wave towel at your wife while you guys are intimate.”
So they found a young good looking guy who was willing to wave a towel at the old man’s wife, while he was trying to please her.
They tried over and over, but he still couldn’t please his wife.
After many tries his wife suggested to swap the mens roles. The old man wasn’t very happy about it, but agreed.
So the young guy got on his wife and they started having intercourse. The old man waved the towel at his wife and watched them.
After a minute his wife was finally pleased.
And the old guy told the young man: “This is how you’re supposed to wave the towel you fucking moron.”

ran into the police station and tell them
what happened and the
police asked

“Are you crazy” and Crazy said “yes I’m crazy”
and he got kicked out of
the police station

Lesson: Never name your
child Somebody, Nobody, and Crazy

were both still wide awake and they both knew it.
He said: “I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be
willing to reach into the closet under your bed to
get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”

“I have a better idea,” she replied “Just for
tonight,…… let’s pretend that we’re married.”

“That’s a great idea!”, he said, now totally aroused.
“Good,” she replied. “Get your own fucking blanket.”
After a moment of silence, he farted and did not care.

but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass.
Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or
the economy when you don’t know crap?” Then she went back to reading her book.