When you die, Which Part of Your Body Goes First in Heaven ?”

Little Johnny raised his hand and said “Sister, I think it’s your feet.” The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. “Now Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?” Little Johnny said “Well, I walked into mommy and daddy’s bedroom the other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying ‘Oh God, I’m coming.’ I gotta tell you, if dad hadn’t pinned her down, we’d have lost her!”

When a Chinese doctor gets a job in the USA

Lawyer: “I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.”

Chinese: “Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.”

Lawyer (annoyed): “This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste.”

Chinese: “Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.”

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer: “My eyesight has become very weak I can’t see at all.”

Chinese: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that, so take this $100.”

Lawyer (staring at the note): “But this is $20, not $100!!”

Chinese: “Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20”