The teacher asks, “Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?” Flora blushes and says, “That’s disgusting, I won’t even answer that question.” The teacher calls on Johnny: “What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?” “That’s easy,” says Johnny. “It’s the pupil of the eye.” “Very good, Johnny,” responds the teacher. “That’s correct.” She then turns to Flora and says, “First, you didn’t do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you’re in for a BIG disappointment.”

Bob – I think my wife has a lover – a florist.
Andy – How do you know?
Bob – When I returned home after work, I found freshly gathered roses on the bed.
Andy – Well, and I think my wife has a lover – a plumber.
Bob – How do you know?
Andy – When I returned home after work, I found a plumber, lying on the bed.

A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does during an orgasm. “Sure!” she says, “He’s at home taking care of the kids..”

A teenager is walking downtown and a girl whispers to him, “Bl0wjob, five dollars”. He gives her a strange look and keeps walking. Soon another girl does the same thing. Confused, he keeps walking. The first thing out of his mouth when he returned home was “Mom, what’s a bl0wjob?”. His mom replies “Five dollars, just like downtown!”.

Drunk Blonde A drunk blonde woman was sitting at a bar says to the barman, “Barfender, I’d like a marhini for my heartburn.” The barman mixes her drink and puts in down in front of her. A few minutes later, she calls him over and says, “Barfender, I’d like a marhini for my heartburn.” He rolls his eyes but mixes her drink anyway and sets it down in front of her. A few minutes later, she waves him over again and says, “Barfender, I’d like a marhini for my heartburn.” The barman looks her up and down and says, “First off, it’s bartender, not barfender. Second off, it’s martini, not marhini. And third, you don’t have heartburn, your b**b is in the ashtray.”