Taxi driver & woman in car

and just sit there awkwardly. The woman speaks up and says “I’m a prostitute
and its going to be 100 dollars for my service.” The man is stunned and saddened
that she didn’t really like him. He gives her the money and she tells him that
she is ready to leave and the man replies “I’m a taxi driver and its going to be
150 dollars for the ride here and back.”

9 months later

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
‘I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,’ she explained. ‘I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.’
‘Don’t worry,’ John said. ‘We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.’ The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, ‘Keith, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?’
‘Yes, I do.’ Said Keith.
‘Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?’
‘Well, um, yes!,’ Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out,’I have to admit that I did.’
‘And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?’
Keith’s face turned beet red and he said, ‘Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did.’ ‘Why do you ask?’
She just died and left me everything.’
(And you thought the ending would be different!)

When a Man is Stung by a Bee

It must be miles away by now.””No, you don’t understand!”
answers the doctor, “I’ll put
some cream on the place you were stung.”

“Oh! It happened in the garden in back of my house.”
“No, no, no!” says the doctor getting frustrated, “I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting you.”

“On my finger!” screamed the man in pain. “The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts.”
“Which one?” the doctor.
“How am I supposed to know? All bees look the same to me!”

The Other Morning at 3 a.m

my bed. My legs were still very wobbly. I stumbled too hard and tried to grab the bathroom cabinet for support. I accidentally pulled it open and fell to the ground. Our entire stock to toilet paper fell out of the cabinet on top of me. Later I told my girlfriend about it. I let her know my legs were bruised and she thought I was telling her the toilet paper bruised my legs. ‘It’s probably nothing to worry about,” she said. “Just a bit of tissue damage.”