Funny Jokes Hilarious Adult Humor

Two homeless guys are on the street in front of the Vatican.
One has a big cross and the other a star of David.
The pope sees them and stops his whole entourage to go speak to them.
He says to the beggar under the star of David, “my son this is a Catholic country. You’re never going to get any charity with this Jewish emblem above you, especially as the fellow right next to you has a cross above him. In fact, I’ll bet some people would give to him purely to spite you.”
The one beggar turns to the other and says, “hey Moshe, look who’s trying to teach the Goldberg brothers about marketing!”

The Queen nods in assent, saying “you do not have the look of a man who could please his mistress when you hold her n@ked in your arms. For your beard is little more than the kind of fuzz that ladies have in certain places, and it is easy to tell from the state of the hay whether the pitchfork is any good.”
On his turn, the knight asks “Lady, answer me without deceit. Is there hair between your legs?” When she replies, “none at all”, he comments, “Indeed I do believe you, for grass does not grow on a well-beaten path.”

runs eight miles in 30 seconds?

would always beat him home.
At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge,
then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: “Jen, is the cat there?” “Yes”, the wife answers, “why do you ask?”
Frustrated, the man answered, “Put him on the phone, I’m lost and need directions!”

Homeless man: “There is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have?”
Me: “Two?”
Homeless man: “Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?”
Me: “Two?”
Homeless man: “Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?”
Me: “Two?”
Homeless man: “Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?”
Me: “I don’t know? A lot?”
Homeless man: “Well, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy?”