Funny Jokes Hilarious Adult Humor

What’s better than a hilarious joke? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.

From naughty gags to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humor, look no further. Short rude jokes, jokes, chat-up lines, Rude knock-knock jokes.

Soldier Gets His Tool Blown

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The next morning the soldier wakes up and slowly lifts the sheets only to see a baby
elephant trunk had been sewn on were his p*nis used to be. At first, he is

upset but can’t help but admire the length and girth of his new penis. The doctor tells him not to
worry and to return in a week for a checkup. Two days later the soldier is back in his office.

Why are you back so soon, is there a problem with your penile implant? Yes says the soldier, every time I try to eat something my penis takes it from me and shoves it up my ass

Woman Opened Legs & Doctor Wondered

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I think it’s incredibly unprofessional of you to say something like that. To say such a thing once was bad enough, but twice is outrageous!”
“I’m very sorry,” replied the doctor, “please forgive me. But just to set the record straight, I only said it ONCE Once once …”

When The frog said if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess

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the frog from his pocket, smiled at it, then put it back into his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog said, “Boy, if you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful princess,

I will do ANYTHING you want!” The boy took the frog from his pocket, smiled,
and put it back. Finally, the frog cried, “Boy, what is the matter,
I have told you that

I am a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I will stay with you and do
ANYTHING you want!” The boy took the frog from his pocket and said,
“Look, I am an engineering student, I have no time for a girlfriend,
but a talking frog is cool!”

Helping Myself to Your Wife

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A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:
“Jim, I’m sorry. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you’re not around, probably more than you. I know it’s no excuse but I don’t get it at home. I can’t live with the guilt any longer. I hope you’ll accept my sincerest apology. It won’t happen again.”
Feeling outrage and betrayed, Jim grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom, and without a word, shoots his wife.
Moments later the guy gets a second text: “Really should use spell check! That should be ‘wifi’”