Man Jokes

“Are you sure?”. He screams “Hell, yes!”.
The devil goes up to the cheerleader and
says “You can stop now. I found someone
to replace you”

that’s what you think it’s worth.. you have a deal!”
“Great!” replies the pawn broker, shaking his hand.
“Here’s twenty bucks,” says the old man. “I’ll buy it right now!”
The broker stops, and suddenly looks confused. “Wait…. buy?” he asks.
“Yes!” smiles the old man as he flips the guitar over, “This one has a
sticker price of $150, but now that I have
your honest opinion I think twenty bucks is a great deal!”

the beef steak with mash potatoes and gravy and some chocolate brownies for dessert”.
The server brings him his food and the blind man enjoys his meal, pays the bill and leaves.
Next week, the blind man goes back to the same restaurant.
The server recognizes him and wanting to see how good the blind man’s sense of smell is, he goes to the kitchen and asks his wife, Brenda, for a spoon.

He instructs his wife, Brenda, to rub the spoon all over her private parts and so she does.
The server hands the dirty spoon to the blind man. The blind man takes a whiff and says:
“I didn’t know Brenda worked here”

100% a globe.” The flat earther exclaims, “Holy crap!
This conspiracy runs deeper than I thought!”

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork.
He returns to the blind man’s table and hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.
“Ah, yes, that’s what I’ll have — meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”

Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen.
The cook happens to be the owner’s wife.

He tells her what had just happened.
The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.
“Sir, remember me? I’m the blind man.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you.
I’ll go get you a dirty fork.”

The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says,

That smells great. I’ll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli.”
Walking away in disbelief,

the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife
that the next time the blind man comes in he’s going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the
kitchen. He tells his wife, “Mary,
rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man.”

Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down,
the owner is ready and waiting.

“Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and
I already have the fork ready for you.”

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says,
“Hey I didn’t know that Mary worked here.”

His friend interrupts, “What? That’s an expensive blowjob. And $150 for the pussy?”

The guy says, “well, turns out it was actually a dude so no pussy. I was horny as hell, so $150 for anal.”

His friend says, “Wow, was it worth it?”

He responds, “Yeah. It was great. My asshole still
hurts a lot but completely worth it. “

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.” Eventually the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?” He replies, “No, it’s too expensive.”