Nuns Want Punishment For Their Sins. But Their Sins Were Blissful For Them

I took his penis in my hand.”

The priest says: -Do not be ashamed, child. Say a Hail Mary, was your hands in the holy water. and all will be forgiven.”

The fourth nun cuts infront of the third nun. The third min cuts back infront of the fourth nun. The fourth nun tries to cut infront of the third nun again and they get into a hair pulling fight.

The priest sees the commotion and yells: “Sisters, stop this at once! What has come over You?!”

The fourth nun points to the third nun and says: “I want to gargle the holy water before she washes her ass in it!”

He Wanted To Give His Wife A Surprise, But He Himself Was Surprised.

Beside himself with shock and grief, he retreats down the steps, drops the box of chocolates and the flowers in defeat as his life flashes before his eyes.
His suicidal thoughts are interrupted by mattress testing getting louder.
He snaps, grabs a baseball bat and goes back into the bedroom.
There he goes to town on the love birds under the blankets, whacking until all movement stops.
A few minutes later, he is in his kitchen, contemplating ending himself, when his wife comes up from the basement.
“Hi baby,” she says. “I’m very happy to see you back early, but since you weren’t supposed to be here tonight and your parents showed up late, I hope you don’t mind I let them have our bedroom for the night. I’m pretty sure they’re still up, have you had a chance to say hello?”

Man, Gorilla & Serviceman

shotgun. -Now listen carefully,” he told the homeowner, -I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his. uh.
sensitive area,
and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself. You slap the handcuffs on. Ok, got it,” the homeowner replied, “but… what’s that shotgun for?” “If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla,- the man said, “shoot the Chihuahua.

Husband Does Not Require Any Subject to fight

The husband continues. -Do you remember 20 years ago when we started daing? I was 18 and you were only 15.” he said solemrgy.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive Yes. I do- she replies.
The husband pauses The words were not owning easey.
‘Do you remember when your father caught us an the back seat of my car?’
“Yes, I remember’ said the vide, kowering herself into a chair beside him
The husband continued 1Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my lace and said, Either you marry my daughter or you’re going to prison?”
1 remember that. too- she replied softly.. _
He sighed as he wiped another tear away from tis cheek and said, 1 would have gotten out today’
. and that’s when the fight started

When Trump Goes To the Electronics store

tells her, “can you make me look like Obama?” “Sure”, she says. A couple of hours later Trump is the spitting image of Obama. He goes back to the store. “Sell me that TV”, he demands in a deep, commanding voice. “Mr Trump, 1 am telling you for the last time, I will NOT sell you ANYTHING.” Trump starts jumping up and down in frustration, making a scene. “How do you know!?” he cries loudly. “Because that is not a TV, that is a micro wave oven.”

Couple Never Expected This.

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, ‘Are Fred and Mary up yet?’ She replies, ‘No.’ Johnny says, to you know what I think?’ His mom replies, ‘Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school.’ After school. Johnny comes home and asks again, ‘Are Fred and Mary up yet?’ His mom says. ‘No.’ He asks, ‘Do you know what I think?’ His Mom replies. ‘Ok, tell me what you think? He says, last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.’