A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.” Eventually the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?” He replies, “No, it’s too expensive.”

Tom and John are hanging out. Tom asks John, “It’s fuuckin’ freezin’ in here. Can you get me my fuuckin’ slippers?”

John goes upstairs to get the slippers and he comes across Tom’s hot 21-year-old twin sisters. He tells them, “Your brother told me to have sxx with both of you.”

One of the sisters replies, “Prove it!”

John yells downstairs, “Tom! Both of them?!.”

Tom yells back, “Of course! What’s the point of fuuckin’ one?!.”

The couples had a code word “Washing machine” as signal for sxx .As the couple had two children who couldn’t be judged whether they’re sleeping or not. One day, the husband became hoorny at night, so he signalled “Washing machine”. But his wife was in head ache..So, she told she couldn’t. After some time, feeling pity for her husband the wife signalled “Washing machine”. The husband replied “I have washed it with my hands”

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, “Your b*tt is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!”
Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
She answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-A$$ grill for one little weenie?”

A man, his wife, and his son all go to a nuude beach. Naturally, the young son has lots of questions. He runs to his father, “Dad! Dad! All of the women have these things hanging from their chests!”

His father tells him, “Son, those are breasts. The women with large ones are dumb and the small ones are smart.”

Soon after the son comes running again, “Mom! Mom! All of the guys have these things dangling between their legs!”

The mom replies, “Those are called p*nis’. The men with the big ones are dumb and the men with small ones are smart.”

A little bit later the son runs up to his mom and asks her, “Mom! Mom! Is being dumb contagious? Dad is talking to a really dumb lady and he keeps getting dumber and dumber.”

In the evening in bed a man approaches his wife. She tries to get away, complaining having a headache. A man asks: – Darling, maybe let’s do IT the Brazilian style? Wife gets interested: ok! The husband does IT the same way as always, and after sxx turns away and is about to fall asleep‘ The wife: – Honey, and what’s Brazilian about this? – Oh, really… Cha-cha-cha!

Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: “Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?”

Wife looks confused: “But that’s your task, honey.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s all over the Bible, dearest.”

“The Bible says nothing about who’s supposed to be brewing coffee!”

The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: “See? Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews.”