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Boys Talk
– Yesterday I split up with my girlfriend.
– What happened, you were doing so well together.
– We were taking a shower together and she said: Darling, let’s do something really bad
– So what?
– So I spilled shampoo to her eyes
Doctor and His Advises
Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I feel unhealthy and depressed. Doctor: You should cut down on drinks. Patient: I don’t touch a drop. Doctor: You should cut down on smoking. Patient: I don’t smoke. Doctor: You should stop taking drugs. Patient: I don’t do drugs. Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing. Patient: Haven’t touched a woman in my life. Doctor: In that case, get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, do some drugs, and find a couple of girlfriends.
She get Married and Has 15 Children
front row said, “Excuse me, Father, but do you mean
she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?”
The priest replied, “I mean her legs.”
Difference Between kinky and Perverted
perverted is when
you use the whole bird.
There was a businessman whose wife was REALLY into $*X.
then turns to leave.
The owner says, “You’re all the same, thinking there’s nothing above this material plane of existence. Watch this.” The businessman turns around.
“Voodoo Dildo, keyhole”
To his astonishment, the businessman saw the box violently shake and the dildo rises in the air, floats for a second and hover over to the keyhole in the front door, and starts to fuck it. The dildo fucked the keyhole with such force that the door is unhinged and started cracking.
“Voodoo Dildo, box” The dildo stops fucking the door and returns to the box.
“ILL TAKE IT”, screamed the businessman, and after a lot of negotiation, he finally purchased the dildo and ran home.
He tells his wife about the dildo and how to use it. “Voodoo Dildo, pussy. That’s how you activate it”, the businessman told his wife and went on his business trip.
After 3 days of being horny, the wife finally gave in to her urges and opened the wooden box, took out the dildo and uttered “Voodoo Dildo, pussy”. The dildo shot from her hands and started fucking her. First slowly and then changing speed as the way she wanted.
After an hour of fucking, the wife thought it was enough and she grabbed the dildo. But it didn’t stop fucking her. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to stop the dildo.
She started panicking and called him but he didn’t pick up so she started to dress up and go for the hospital, all the while the dildo still fucking her.
She got in her car and started driving. On the way, she had a huge orgasm and her car served and almost hit another car. A police car saw this and she was stopped at the side of the highway. A policeman approached her.
“Ma’am you almost hit the grey SUV back there, have you been drinking?”
The wife then proceeds to tell him all about her husband and the voodoo Dildo and that she can’t stop it now. The policeman then says,
“Yeah right, Voodoo Dildo my ass.”