A Man Snuck into a Graveyard

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detached from the body. With no time to put it back, the man ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction of the cops. He was nearly out of the graveyard when he was caught. There had apparently been cops waiting to surround him. Defeated, the man let the cops cuff him. They didn’t leave the graveyard immediately. The cops asked him questions for what seemed like hours. Finally one cop stopped him mid sentence. “Look pal. I don’t know why you feel like you have to lie about this entire thing.” Confused, the man fell silent. He’d been truthful the entire time. This cop was crazy! “Tell me,” the cop said in response to the man’s silence, “Whose leg do you think you’re pulling?”

My Aunt had a Hard Time

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guess any position will do.” The bar owner thought for a few seconds. Then she said, “Madam, do you get around in a wheelchair?” A little taken aback, my aunt replied, “No. I hop around on crutches most of the time.” Again, the bartender paused, thinking. My aunt began to look a little concerned. Finally, the bar owner spoke. “Congratulations, you can come in for orientation next week.” Ecstatic, my aunt asked the bar owner what position she was being considered for. “Oh that became an easy answer once you told me you get around on crutches. We’re putting you in charge of the hops.”