Drinking Smart

shot in the row and does the same.
The bartender asks, “Why did you do that?”
And the guy replies, “Well the first shot
always tastes like crap, and the last one
always makes me sick!”

Little Johnny is Watching his Dad Shave

dad replied ” uh coats and hats.” Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling ” f*cking, fuck,f*ck,f*ck” ” what does that mean dad?” And his dad yells ” cut Johnny, it means cut!!!” Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says ” Hey bitches and asses, hang your d*cks and p*ssies here, dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

The Trouble of Flying Your Dog

kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was perplexed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
(via gcfl.net)