When Elderly Woman Goes to the Doctor

patient “Do you have any difficulty walking?” The elderly woman
says she indeed does. The doctor tries again and again and
again to get a reflex out of the old woman’s knees but each time
she only gasps.

The doctor, concerned and analyzing the situation asks the old
woman if she’s feeling any pain or discomfort in her knees and
she replies “No Doc, but can you stop with the hammer?! My tits
are killing me!”

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard

his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.”

He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…”

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven decomposing.”