When He Finds out His Wife is Pr0stitute… And

when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 30-foot high board and did a two-and-a-half-tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by three rotations in jack-knife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

She said, “That was incredible.”

He said, “I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about ourselves as we went along.”

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the ripples from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.

He said, “That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?”

“No,” she said, “I was a prostitute in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal.”

When man hire a Ho0ker from casino..

His friend interrupts, “What? That’s an expensive blowjob. And $150 for the pussy?”

The guy says, “well, turns out it was actually a dude so no pussy. I was horny as hell, so $150 for anal.”

His friend says, “Wow, was it worth it?”

He responds, “Yeah. It was great. My asshole still
hurts a lot but completely worth it. “

When Johnny Must Be savage

h‌‌ow m‌‌any w‌‌ould y‌‌ou h‌‌ave?”
J‌‌ohnny: “‌‌Seven!”
T‌‌eacher: “‌‌Johnny, w‌‌here i‌‌n t‌‌he h‌‌eck d‌‌o y‌‌ou g‌‌et s‌‌even f‌‌rom?!”
J‌‌ohnny: “‌‌Because I‌‌’ve a‌‌lready g‌‌ot a‌‌ f‌‌reaking c‌‌at!”

When Little Johnny learns a lesson about karma…

Johnny plays nice for a bit but starts getting rough again.
The neighbor says, “be nice Johnny or karma will get you.”
Johnny again plays nice for a bit but starts getting rough again.
Suddenly the Mom comes running over and nips little Johnny.
The neighbor says, “what did you learn John

When Dirty Hippie Entered in Shop

The clerk, somewhat used to sights such as this, nodded hello, then said, “It looks like you lost a shoe.”
The naked guy said, “Huh?”
The clerk pointed down at the fellow’s feet. “You lost a shoe.”
The hippie slowly moved his bloodshot gaze down towards the floor.
After staring silently at his feet for several seconds, he looked back up and spoke to the clerk.
“No I didn’t. I found one.”