When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard

his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.”

He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…”

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven decomposing.”

When Doctor Feel Guilty

that said: “Mike, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the
first medical practitioner to sleep with one of your
patients, and you won’t be the last. And you’re single.
Just let it go, Mike.”

But invariably another voice in his head would bring
him back to reality, whispering:

What’s wrong with you Mike, you’re a veterinarian.

When Johnny Must Be savage

h‌‌ow m‌‌any w‌‌ould y‌‌ou h‌‌ave?”
J‌‌ohnny: “‌‌Seven!”
T‌‌eacher: “‌‌Johnny, w‌‌here i‌‌n t‌‌he h‌‌eck d‌‌o y‌‌ou g‌‌et s‌‌even f‌‌rom?!”
J‌‌ohnny: “‌‌Because I‌‌’ve a‌‌lready g‌‌ot a‌‌ f‌‌reaking c‌‌at!”

When Dirty Hippie Entered in Shop

The clerk, somewhat used to sights such as this, nodded hello, then said, “It looks like you lost a shoe.”
The naked guy said, “Huh?”
The clerk pointed down at the fellow’s feet. “You lost a shoe.”
The hippie slowly moved his bloodshot gaze down towards the floor.
After staring silently at his feet for several seconds, he looked back up and spoke to the clerk.
“No I didn’t. I found one.”