Newlywed Surprise

Nick started glowing with happiness and kissing Monica purred, ‘Oh
darling, I’m the happiest man in the world.’
Monica smiled and added, ‘I’m glad that you feel that way, Nick, because
tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us.’

Wife’s Butt is Getting Big

they’re about the same size.
That night, he tries to see if he can get lucky.
“Not tonight,” says his wife.
He asks her why not, to which she responds, “Do
you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass
grill for one little weiner?”