She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. ‘What’s the matter, dear?’ she whispers as she steps into the room, ‘Why are you down here at this time of night? The husband looks up from his coffee, ‘It’s the 20th Anniversary of the day we met’. She can’t believe he has remembered and starts to tear up. The husband continues, ‘Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16,’ he says solemnly. Once again, the wife is touched to tears. ‘Yes, I do’ she replies. The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. ‘Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?’ ‘Yes, I remember’ said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him. The husband continued. ‘Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?’ ‘I remember that, too’ she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said “I would have gotten out today.”
honey. And you sweetheart?
Boyfriend: In the club standing
“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”The husband drops the phone and makes love to his wife a second time.
When they finish, he goes back to the phone.”What are you doing now?” she asks.
“I’m still hungry, so I’m going to ring room service for some food.”
“Tiger wouldn’t do that.””Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”
“He’d come back to bed and do it one more time.”The husband puts the phone down and heads back to bed.
Exhausted after the third lovemaking session, he shuffles back to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?””No! I’m calling Tiger Woods to find out what’s par for this hole!”
it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around on her and she left. I was really wrong to have married her; I wish you and me had met earlier. See you soon, honey!” Then he hung up and walked out of the room.
Heartbroken she climbed out from under the bed and stumbled over to read what her unfaithful husband had written on the end of her letter. Through teary eyes, she read: “I could see your feet you idiot, I am going out to buy bread”.
When she asks him where he’s going, he replies,
“I’m coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year.”