Husband Wife jokes

honey. And you sweetheart?
Boyfriend: In the club standing
behind you.

“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”The husband drops the phone and makes love to his wife a second time.

When they finish, he goes back to the phone.”What are you doing now?” she asks.

“I’m still hungry, so I’m going to ring room service for some food.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.””Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it one more time.”The husband puts the phone down and heads back to bed.

Exhausted after the third lovemaking session, he shuffles back to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?””No! I’m calling Tiger Woods to find out what’s par for this hole!”

it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around on her and she left. I was really wrong to have married her; I wish you and me had met earlier. See you soon, honey!” Then he hung up and walked out of the room.

Heartbroken she climbed out from under the bed and stumbled over to read what her unfaithful husband had written on the end of her letter. Through teary eyes, she read: “I could see your feet you idiot, I am going out to buy bread”.

>

When she asks him where he’s going, he replies,

“I’m coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year.”

I went to the doctor recently

He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty”

I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?”

He said, “No. fatty don’t eat anything.”