The Trouble of Flying Your Dog

kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was perplexed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
(via gcfl.net)

A professor said that

single language, not one, in
which a double positive can
express a negative.”
A voice from the back of the
room piped up, “Yeah, right.”