Short, clean jokes that gets a laugh every time

I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, “I’ll have a beer.” The second says, “I’ll have half a beer.” The third says, “I’ll have a quarter of a beer.” And so on.
The bartender pours two beers and says, “You guys need to know your limits.”

I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.

And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster

Why dont blind people skydive? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs

An intern at a mental hospital starts his first day

He comes across a patient walking through the halls and asks “Who are you?”

The patient answers “I’m Napoleon.”

Not sure how to handle this, the intern decides to be polite and asks “How do you know?”

The patient responds “Jesus told me.”

Another patient, overhearing this conversation, suddenly turns around and says “No, I didn’t.”

A farmer buys a new rooster to replace his old one, and puts him in the chicken coop…

Albert Einstein Become Driver

know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.”
“That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!”
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
“Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I’m going to let my driver reply to it for me.”

How to send money from Google Pay Business account

Google Pay is an application for payments based on UPI that Google created in 2017. The app allows users to transfer or receive money to anyone associated with UPI. Google Pay is extremely useful in cashless and card-free transactions, such as with a shopkeeper or simply transferring money to someone you know. It’s a secure alternative to using cards for payments. Google Pay enables sending and receiving money; however, unlike other digital wallets, the money can be transferred directly into banks’ accounts. It means that the problem of receiving funds in wallets and later moving to the bank account is now gone.

Google Pay for Business is a highly secure and reliable payment gateway. It doesn’t matter if it’s an enterprise of significant size or a small-sized business owner; the application is easy to accept payments and communicate with customers. With Google Pay for Business, users can select Tez Mode, QR code, or a phone number to receive payments. All you have to do is register your business on Google Pay for Business then your clients can pay you via Google Pay.

How to Create a Google Pay For Business Account?

Here are the Steps to Create Google Pay For Business Account:

Step 1: Download the “Google Pay For Business” application “Google Pay For Business” from the Google Play Store or the app store.

Step 2: Next, start the sign-up for Google Pay for Business.

Step 3: Then step is to make sure you make use of to sign up for the Google Account you’d like to use to accept different forms of payment for your company. Then, you need to create a Google account if you don’t already have one.

Step 4: Next, fill in the information about your company into the form, which includes

  • Address, business name as well as a phone number.
  • Merchant Category Code (MCC).
  • VPA stands for virtual payment address (VPA), like a universal code for payment (UPIC). If you don’t have a VPA, you should contact your bank or the payment service company (PSP) to request one.
  • A personal or business bank account.

Step 5: Now, you need to enter your UPI ID or your virtual payment address or VPA. If you don’t have a VPA yet, you should create one.

How to Send Money through Google Pay Business Account?

You can use Google Pay to send Money to family and friends through your mobile device. You’ll require an internet connection as well as your Indian bank account and an Indian number.

It is possible to find people to transfer Money to if they’re in the vicinity, or you can find them using their:

  • Name
  • Number for phone
  • UPI ID (typically friendname@bankname)
  • Bank Account as well as IFSC code

Send Money to a Person in the vicinity by using Google Pay Business.

You can pay anyone in your vicinity who is using Google Pay.

Take note that Google Pay uses audio pairing to allow you to connect with nearby users. You’ll have to enable the microphone of your phone.

  1. Be sure that the person you’d like to pay is using Google Pay..
  2. Open Google Pay on both phones.
  3. In the top-right corner, click on your profile.
  4. Click on your profile once more and press on your Spot Code.
  5. Ask the receiver to scan the QR code using the Google Pay scanner.
  6. Input the amount and description, and choose the payment method.
  7. Tap Pay to pay.
  8. Input the UPI PIN.

Send Money Anywhere using Google Pay Business.

You can send Money through Google Pay Business anywhere by following the given steps:

  • Open Google Pay Business.
  • At the lower part of the screen, click “New Payment.”
  • Find the person or contact to whom you wish to transfer Money.
  • After you have selected the contact to send money, you will need to enter the amount on the next screen.
  • Be sure to enter the correct information. After you have sent the cash, the transaction will get completed.
  • Tap Pay.
  • Input the amount and the description, then select the payment method.
  • Tap Pay to pay.
  • You must enter Your UPI PIN.

When Father and mom Get Divorced

sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”

The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced!”she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!”

She calls Ireland immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way”

When Donald Proves He is Smart

‘My son, I am old and don’t have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.’

The little boy said, ‘That’s okay, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for you. America ‘s smartest President took my schoolbag…

Edit : Thank you for the rewards and upvotes !