he radios the station and asks what to do.
The cop at the station says “Is she a blond driving a lipstick red
corvette?” and the cop replies “Yes”.

So the other cop says
“What you do is tell her to get out of the car
and pull out your dick as you walk up to her”.
So the cop does exactly what the other cop says.

The blond gets out of the car and he whips out his dick.
The blond “sighs” and says
“Please not another breathalyzer test!”

goes to make it and realizes he doesn’t have any almonds.
He does, however, have some hickory nuts. So he mashes

them up and whips them into a daiquiri, assuming the
doctor won’t know the difference.

The doctor comes in and is presented with the drink.
He takes a sip and immediately notices something is up.

“Is this an almond daiquiri?” he asks.“No,” says
the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.”

“I… um… I think I’m having a heart attack!”
“Oh,” cries the gullible husband,
“quick, I’ll call an ambulance!”


He runs downstairs, picks up the phone and
begins dialing 911, when his son Johnny
appears, sobbing his little heart out.

“What’s the matter, son?” asks the father.
“Uncle James is in the closet with no

clothes on, Daddy,” replies his tearful
toddler. Enraged, the man runs back
upstairs, flings open the wardrobe

and finds his brother there absolutely
naked, just as his son had said.

“You bastard, Jim,” screams the man. “My wife
is over there having a heart attack and you’re
running around naked scaring Johnny!”

Type and color dress are you looking for?”
The bride-to-be said, “A long frilly
white dress with a veil.”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, madam,
but such dresses are usually more fitting for
the first-time bride who is more innocent in

the ways of life if you get my meaning.” “Well
“replied the customer, a little peeved at
the clerk’s directness,

“I can assure you that a white gown would be
entirely appropriate. Believe it or not,
despite all my marriages,

I remain as innocent as a first-time bride. You
see, my first husband was so excited about
our wedding,

he had a heart attack due to an unknown congenital
condition as we were checking into our
honeymoon hotel.

My second husband and I got into such a terrible
fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon

hotel that we had the wedding annulled immediately!
We’ve never spoken to each other again.”

“What about your third husband?” “That one was a
Liberal”, said the woman,

“and every night for four years, he just sat on
the edge of the bed and told me how good it was
going to be, but nothing ever happened.”