A Man is Dying in the Hospital

He’s surrounded by his two sons, his daughter, his wife, and a nurse. He turns to his family and says:

“Peter, my eldest, I leave you the villas in Beverly Hills. Samantha, my beautiful daughter, to you I give the apartments in Los Angeles Plaza. Charlie, my youngest son, I see a long and bright future in you, so I leave the city center offices to you. And my dear wife, the three residential towers in downtown are all yours.”

The nurse hears all of this and is impressed at the man’s sizeable fortune. She turns to the wife and says, “Ma’am, your husband must be very rich to be bequeathing so many properties. You all are so lucky.”

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. ‘What’s the matter, dear?’ she whispers as she steps into the room, ‘Why are you down here at this time of night? The husband looks up from his coffee, ‘It’s the 20th Anniversary of the day we met’. She can’t believe he has remembered and starts to tear up. The husband continues, ‘Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16,’ he says solemnly. Once again, the wife is touched to tears. ‘Yes, I do’ she replies. The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. ‘Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?’ ‘Yes, I remember’ said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him. The husband continued. ‘Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?’ ‘I remember that, too’ she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said “I would have gotten out today.”

Promotion Interview – Funny Work Jokes

The Promotion Interview

Two interns, Janice and Kevin, sat nervously across from the CEO for their big promotion interview. The CEO, known for his strange questions, cleared his throat.

“Alright,” he boomed, “imagine you’re on a sinking ship. There’s a life raft, but only room for one.” He paused, a glint in his eye. “Who do you throw overboard?”

Janice, eager to impress, immediately blurted out, “The intern from marketing! They haven’t even finished their coffee break yet!”

Kevin, however, remained silent. After a long, pregnant pause, he leaned forward and whispered, “Sir, with all due respect, wouldn’t it be easier to just push you overboard? You’re the one with the life raft budget.”

The CEO stared at Kevin, then burst into laughter. “Alright, alright,” he chuckled, wiping a tear, “you’re hired! Just stay away from the life rafts.”

Imagine Spicy af Detailed

are against my ass, and I cry out at the feel of him stretching my body.
“Fuck,” I gasp, closing my eyes and burying my face against the pillows. He doesn’t let me rest for long, though.

Oliver reaches out to thread his fingers in my hair, yanking my face up for my viewers to see. “Tell them how I feel,” he orders, and when I only whimper, he lightly slaps my thigh. “Don’t tease them, Envy, baby. That’s not very nice.”

Neither is he, and I worry that I’ve got- -ten in over my head this time. His grip on my hair causes my scalp to prickle and burn, but it’s not the worst feeling I’ve ever had.

“He’s so big,” I tell my viewers, my voice soft and trembling. “He’s so fuck- ing big and-” I trail off with a grasp as he pulls out just to thrust back in. I close my eyes and arch into him, letting out another breath as he sets a rhythm for my viewers.

While I’m having problems getting more than one word out, Oliver certainly

23 Daily Women’s Affirmation

  1. “I am a powerful and resilient woman, capable of overcoming any obstacle.”
  2. “My worth is not determined by others; I am valuable just as I am.”
  3. “I trust in my ability to make sound decisions for myself.”
  4. “I embrace my imperfections and celebrate my unique strengths.”
  5. “Today, I choose self-love and self-care as a priority in my life.”
  6. “I release all negativity and welcome positive energy into my space.”
  7. “I am confident in expressing my thoughts and opinions.”
  8. “My dreams are valid, and I am actively working towards achieving them.”
  9. “I am surrounded by love and support, and I attract positive relationships.”
  10. “Every challenge is an opportunity for growth, and I face them with resilience.”
  11. “I radiate beauty, strength, and grace in every situation.”
  12. “I am the architect of my life; I build its foundation and choose its contents.”
  13. “I am deserving of success, and I confidently pursue my goals.”
  14. “My voice is important, and I speak with clarity and conviction.”
  15. “I let go of comparison and celebrate the unique journey of my life.”
  16. “I am a beacon of light, inspiring others with my kindness and authenticity.”
  17. “I trust the timing of my life and allow things to unfold naturally.”
  18. “I am a source of positivity and joy, uplifting those around me.”
  19. “I forgive myself for past mistakes and learn and grow from them.”
  20. “I am a magnet for miracles, and I welcome abundance into my life.”
  21. “I am a woman of purpose, passion, and endless possibilities.”