Relationship Jokes – Men – Women

went to her house, rang the
doorbell and ran away.

shopping and bought the man new golf clubs, an iPad and an 80-inch flatscreen TV. She said, “I bought these gifts for you because I love you so much.”

The third woman took the $5,000 and invested it in the stock market, doubled her investment, returned $5,000 to the man and re-invested the rest. She said, “I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.”

The man thought long and hard about how each of his girlfriends had spent the money, and then he decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.

“Two girlfriends?” I asked.“No,” he said. “Just one really angry one.”

never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything.
She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. .
So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her.
She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.

at the trough next to a local. I
briefly gazed down and saw that he
too had WY tattooed on his penis.

I asked him if his girlfriends name
was also Wendy.

He said ‘No. When I am aroused it says
“Welcome to Jamaica- Have a nice day”

She even gave me head and I ate her ass. To be fair, I had to pull out all the stops. This birthday was special. After all… you only get one quinceanera.

Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.

Girlfriend: I think the guy next to me is j3rking off.
Boyfriend: Just ignore him.
Girlfriend: I can’t.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: He’s using my hand.

a dad, replies “Hi sorry, I’m Dad!” He then turns to me and asks “Are you
fucking sorry?”

I said “If you think she’s gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend.”
He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?”, I said “No, she’s an optician.”

house furniture to make them perfectly symmetric from every angle