‘My son, I am old and don’t have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.’
The little boy said, ‘That’s okay, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for you. America ‘s smartest President took my schoolbag…
Edit : Thank you for the rewards and upvotes !
when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 30-foot high board and did a two-and-a-half-tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by three rotations in jack-knife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said, “That was incredible.”
He said, “I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about ourselves as we went along.”
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the ripples from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.
He said, “That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?”
“No,” she said, “I was a prostitute in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal.”
comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson?’ If not, don’t say it.
I thought this sounded like a good rule. So I told her:
“Your chest is fucking epic.”
His friend interrupts, “What? That’s an expensive blowjob. And $150 for the pussy?”
The guy says, “well, turns out it was actually a dude so no pussy. I was horny as hell, so $150 for anal.”
His friend says, “Wow, was it worth it?”
He responds, “Yeah. It was great. My asshole still
hurts a lot but completely worth it. “
how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”
Johnny plays nice for a bit but starts getting rough again.
The neighbor says, “be nice Johnny or karma will get you.”
Johnny again plays nice for a bit but starts getting rough again.
Suddenly the Mom comes running over and nips little Johnny.
The neighbor says, “what did you learn John
Doctor: Tell Me About Your Problem.
Patient: I Just Did, You Stupid Bastard.