Teacher and her 3 boy students: Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.” Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.” Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class… Teacher: “Why are you leaving?” Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”

A man gets “I love you” tattooed on his pen**s…
He goes home and tears his pants off, eager to show his girlfriend.

She looks at him and shakes her head saying “there you go again trying to put words in my mouth”.

What is Cord Blood and how it is stored?

When a baby is born, there is some blood stored in the placenta and umbilical cord of the child. This blood is called Cord Blood and it is collected to preserve for future use because it has stem cells. Stem cells are very efficient in treating hematopoietic and genetic disorders. These stem cells are the same as those cells which help in the development of baby’s organs, immune system, tissues etc while the baby is in mother’s womb. After the childbirth, the umbilical cord is cut and the cord blood is collected.

• The collection of the Cord Blood is a very safe process for both the mother and the baby.
• If parents want their babies Cord Blood to be saved then they ask the doctor to do so.
• Your treating doctor will attach the umbilical cord in two different places with 10 inches of space in between.
• Then, with the help of a syringe, the doctor will be able to collect approximately 40 milliliters of Cord Blood.
• The collected blood is put in a sealed bag to send it to the cord blood bank for testing and preservation.

jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!
Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..
Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please..

the man finally gets up and says,
“Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!”

The woman says, “Me too, you’ve
been eating grass for
the past ten minutes!”

“No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!”

There was a bear looking at the fish. The bear thought, “If the fly goes down to get the food, and that fish comes up to get the fly, I can get the fish!”
There was a man looking at the bear. The man thought, “If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, and the bear gets the fish, I can shoot the bear!”
There was a mouse looking at the man. The mouse thought, “If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, the bear gets the fish, and the man shoots the bear, I can get the man’s sandwich!”
There was a cat looking at the mouse. The cat thought, “If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, the bear gets the fish, the man shoots the bear, and the mouse gets the sandwich, I can get the mouse!”
So the fly goes down to get the food. The fish comes up and gets the fly. The bear swipes his mighty paw and gets the fish. The man shoots the bear. The mouse runs for the man’s sandwich. The cat lunges for the mouse, misses, and falls in the river.
What’s the moral of the story?
When the fly goes down, the pussy gets wet.