Funny Jokes Hilarious Adult Humor

What’s better than a hilarious joke? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.

From naughty gags to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humor, look no further. Short rude jokes, jokes, chat-up lines, Rude knock-knock jokes.

There was a businessman whose wife was REALLY into $*X.

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then turns to leave.
The owner says, “You’re all the same, thinking there’s nothing above this material plane of existence. Watch this.” The businessman turns around.

“Voodoo Dildo, keyhole”
To his astonishment, the businessman saw the box violently shake and the dildo rises in the air, floats for a second and hover over to the keyhole in the front door, and starts to fuck it. The dildo fucked the keyhole with such force that the door is unhinged and started cracking.

“Voodoo Dildo, box” The dildo stops fucking the door and returns to the box.
“ILL TAKE IT”, screamed the businessman, and after a lot of negotiation, he finally purchased the dildo and ran home.
He tells his wife about the dildo and how to use it. “Voodoo Dildo, pussy. That’s how you activate it”, the businessman told his wife and went on his business trip.

After 3 days of being horny, the wife finally gave in to her urges and opened the wooden box, took out the dildo and uttered “Voodoo Dildo, pussy”. The dildo shot from her hands and started fucking her. First slowly and then changing speed as the way she wanted.

After an hour of fucking, the wife thought it was enough and she grabbed the dildo. But it didn’t stop fucking her. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to stop the dildo.
She started panicking and called him but he didn’t pick up so she started to dress up and go for the hospital, all the while the dildo still fucking her.

She got in her car and started driving. On the way, she had a huge orgasm and her car served and almost hit another car. A police car saw this and she was stopped at the side of the highway. A policeman approached her.

“Ma’am you almost hit the grey SUV back there, have you been drinking?”
The wife then proceeds to tell him all about her husband and the voodoo Dildo and that she can’t stop it now. The policeman then says,
“Yeah right, Voodoo Dildo my ass.”

When There’s a Competition of Vampires

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their heads.
“Well… I killed the entire family and sucked the blood dry!” he replied.
“Wow, fascinating!”, replied the other two.
Then the second one takes the next turn, “Watch and learn, guys!”
He flies even faster, at about 120 miles/hour. After only 5 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth and his neck
“What happened??” they asked.
“Do you see that village over there?” he inquired.
The others nod their heads.
“Well… I killed every last person on that village and sucked the blood dry!”
“Wow, amazing!”, replied the other two.
Finally the last one steps up and says, “Don’t blink or you’ll miss it”
He flies really fast, even faster than the other two, at about 140 miles/hour. After mere 30 seconds, he comes back with blood all over his mouth, his neck, and his nose.
“Wh..what did you do???” they asked.
“Do you see that big ass tree over there?” he inquired
“Ye..yes?!” they replied awestruck.
“Well.. I didn’t”

How S*x Change The World

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After three years of research at a cost of more than 2 million Euros, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man’s p3n|s is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure. When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their study. The Aussies didn’t trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around 75 dollars (three cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man’s p3n|s is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.”