What’s better than a hilarious joke? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.
From naughty gags to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humor, look no further. Short rude jokes, jokes, chat-up lines, Rude knock-knock jokes.
replies, “Ugh. It’s the thing in your purse with your picture on it.”
“Oh yeah,” says the blond who reaches in her purse,
pulls out a compact mirror, and hands it over. The blond cop opens it,
takes a look inside, hands it back, and says, “I’m sorry ma’am.
If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn’t have pulled you over.”
a 20-minute nap, and while I’m asleep, I need you to hold my old pecker.” She agrees, he wakes up 20 minutes later and goes at it again, just as vigorously as before.
The girl is amazed at the old man’s stamina and repeats her freebie offer, the old man tells her that once again, he’ll need a 20-minute nap and she’ll have to hold his di)k while he’s asleep. She does as he asks, he wakes up 20 minutes later and he goes at it again, with even more enthusiasm than previously.
The hooker catches her breath, and needing to satisfy her curiosity, asks the old man “I can understand why you need the nap, but why do you need me to hold your di)k while you’re sleeping?”
The old man replies “Oh, that’s just so you don’t steal my wallet.”
finds Isaac outside where he has
drawn a square around himself.
Albert asks Newton “What kind of
hiding place is that Newton?”
and Newton replies “i am
not Newton i am a Pascal.”
Albert asks Newton “What kind of
hiding place is that Newton?”
and Newton replies “i am
not Newton i am a Pascal.”
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room. The Fire Chief walks in and says, What are you doing? Give this man mouth to mouth. One of the fireman says: I did how do you think all this shit got started…
The first one slurs…
back, “Well I have a DhD.”
The second says, exasperated, “What the hell is a DhD??”
The first cackles, “You’re some doc if you don’t know what ADHD is!
Tom and John are hanging out. Tom asks John, “It’s fuuckin’ freezin’ in here. Can you get me my fuuckin’ slippers?”
John goes upstairs to get the slippers and he comes across Tom’s hot 21-year-old twin sisters. He tells them, “Your brother told me to have sxx with both of you.”
One of the sisters replies, “Prove it!”
John yells downstairs, “Tom! Both of them?!.”
Tom yells back, “Of course! What’s the point of fuuckin’ one?!.”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
~Emo Philips, The Best Religious Joke of All Time According to Someone