Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons

looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked,
“What are you doing?” “Playing a game,” the boy replied. “What is your name?”
the officer questioned. “Mind Your Own Business.” Furious the policeman inquired,
“Are you looking for trouble?!” The boy replied, “Why, yes.”

Dark Humour Funny Jokes

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. But, I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Never break someone’s heart, they only have one of those. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words

“antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can’t be found.

I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.” I’m not sure what he’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!

Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person.

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

Jokes Hilarious Funny Humour

  1. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”
  2. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.”
  3. “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.”
  4. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
  5. Bob: “Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.”Peter: “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.”
  6. I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, “Hey! The sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He Said, “Yes, but not in a row!”
  7. Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck! Mirror: You kiddin’ me? You break me, then y’all get 7 years bad luck! Condom: Hahaha… (Condom walks off laughing)
  8. Yo mama so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already worldwide.
  9. Teacher: How much is a gram? Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need
  10. Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
  11. Why are frogs always so happy? They eat what ever bugs them
  12. I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, “Hey! The sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He Said, “Yes, but not in a row!”
  13. Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry
  14. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
  15. Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!Mirror: You kiddin’ me? You break me, then y’all get 7 years bad luck! Condom: Hahaha… (Condom walks off laughing)