Husband Wife Jokes – Funny

…..-she replied.

He pushed some more through the gap and asked, “Does that scare you?” “Nope” she said laughing. He then said, “Alright, you seem to be okay with it. I am coming up the stairs now!”

So you mean I’m the oil, and you’re the machine?”

replied nonchalantly. “The Smiths bought one for their bedroom.
I liked it so much, I got one for us too.”

No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when
they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out
of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a
sandwich and a glass of milk.

“Here,” he said to the ‘statue’, “eat something. I stood like an
idiot at the Smiths’ for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water.”

If anything changes, I’ll let you know!”

did on their wedding night and eat at the dinner table nak33d. The woman
agreed. Later that night at the table, the woman says, “Honey,

my neppl33s are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago.”
The man replies, “That’s because they are sitting in your soup.”

and said multiplication doesn’t
apply on zero.

He replies, “I forgot my wallet.”

best friend?”
“I’d say you’re a lesbian!”

Nick started glowing with happiness and kissing Monica purred, ‘Oh
darling, I’m the happiest man in the world.’
Monica smiled and added, ‘I’m glad that you feel that way, Nick, because
tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us.’

we should rehang the picture. After gazing at
my message for a few seconds, she replied,
“You know, I think a black marker would cover
over all that so that we could sell it.”

“What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t
know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you
what it feels like when I’m driving.”