When the Man Declares

couple of sick days from work…”
“Suzie was so thrilled to have me around,
that every time a mail or delivery person
came by, she’d run down the driveway waving
her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home!
My husband’s home!’”

Strongest man around

time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice.
“I’d like to try the bet.” After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away.
Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man.
“What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, what?”
The man replied, “I work for the IRS.”

Man and Woman in Bar

a man on Stacey’s desk and asks,
“Is this your brother?” “No, it
isn’t, Jim!” Stacey giggles.

“Is it your husband?” Stacey
giggles even more, “No, silly!”
“Then, it must be your boyfriend!”
Stacey giggles even more while
nibbling on Jim’s ear.

She says,
“No, silly!” “Then, who is it?”
Stacey replies, “That’s me
before my operation!”