Little Johnny is Watching his Dad Shave

dad replied ” uh coats and hats.” Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling ” f*cking, fuck,f*ck,f*ck” ” what does that mean dad?” And his dad yells ” cut Johnny, it means cut!!!” Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says ” Hey bitches and asses, hang your d*cks and p*ssies here, dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

Whose Pet is Smarter

I get out of bed.” “I know,” says
the second owner. “How do you know?”
the first demands. “My dog told me.”
From the book Laughter: The Best Medicine