I Got Frustrated one Day

could go about most of my everyday routines. I would just have to stop trying to prop the window until I figured this out. Finally I had an idea. I went up to my attic and retrieved a gigantic pair of ceramic legs to place underneath the windowsill. It worked. The ceramic legs were tall enough to be placed on the ground and prop the window from where they stood. I decided this would be my permanent solution for propping this window in future, so I stored the ceramic legs under the window sill. I didn’t feel like putting them back in the attic, because otherwise, I just couldn’t stand the pane.

Little Johnny is Watching his Dad Shave

dad replied ” uh coats and hats.” Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling ” f*cking, fuck,f*ck,f*ck” ” what does that mean dad?” And his dad yells ” cut Johnny, it means cut!!!” Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says ” Hey bitches and asses, hang your d*cks and p*ssies here, dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

Whose Pet is Smarter

I get out of bed.” “I know,” says
the second owner. “How do you know?”
the first demands. “My dog told me.”
From the book Laughter: The Best Medicine