I was proven wrong once the game started and I got a good look at the opponents. They wore grey instead of green. Likewise, Kemba Walker, Jayson Tatum, Gordon Hayward, and Jaylen Brown were nowhere to be found.

Instead, I found myself face-to-face with a bunch of stinky, over-weight neckbeards. I could tell that they weren’t a fun bunch to be around, as they mockingly pointed at my toned physique and dubbed me a “Chad”. They also flipped off our team’s two female players while calling them “Stacy”, even though their real names were “Melanie” and “Jennifer”.

Once the game started, the neckbeards were thoroughly outclassed by my team, and found themselves down 31-0 by the end of the first quarter since they spent most of their time jealously looking at my female teammates and loudly pondering about their “exploits” with me and my male teammates instead of actually playing basketball.

As the second quarter started, I could hear them talk about “beating the fuck out of the two “femoids” shooting threes”. The opponents spent the rest of the first complaining about “not getting laid” and suspecting “anti-male bias” by the referees (which was stupid, given that three of my team’s starters were male, including myself).

I got so fed up by my opponents’ negativity and loudly shouted at them:

“CUT THAT SEXIST BULLSHIT AND PLAY SOME FUCKING BALL!”.

They responded by flipping me off and calling me a “SOFTBOY CUCK”.

By that time, I finally realized who my opponents were.

They were the InCeltics.

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