she looked out the window and sure
enough there was a box gift-wrapped
in the middle of the driveway. Confused,
the wife put on her robe and ran out to
the driveway, brought the box back in
the house. She opened it and found a
brand new bathroom scale. Bob
has been missing since Friday.
of a gentleman, you would lift
your hat to a lady.” He replies,
“If you were any sort of a sexy lady,
the hat would lift by itself.”
“Sure!” replies Jim. “Let’s go!” At Stacey’s
house, Jim notices a picture of a man on Stacey’s
desk and asks, “Is this your brother?”
“No, it isn’t, Jim!” Stacey giggles. “Is it your
husband?” Stacey giggles even more, “No, silly!”
“Then, it must be your boyfriend!” Stacey giggles
even more while nibbling on Jim’s ear. She says,
“No, silly!” “Then, who is it?” Stacey replies,
“That’s me before my operation!”
She opens her blouse and the
man puts his face in her breasts
for 10 minutes.” Eventually the
lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?”
He replies, “No, it’s too expensive.”
She puts her items through, and the
cashier scans them without a word.
Disappointed at the lack of
the reaction, she starts to leave.
But just as she’s passing through
the doors, to her horror, she hears
the cashier whisper to her coworker,
“I think that tranny has a big dick”.
She leaves and I pass out. The next night I go back to
the same casino bar, and sure enough she’s there again
and I decide I wanted some more. I walk up to her and say
“You were amazing last night, how much would it cost for a
blow job?” She then smiles and says “1 grand.” Again I’m a
little bit set back by the price and I said “A grand? Is it
that good?” She then whips out her phone and shows me a
picture of a HUGE, luxurious house. She then says “See this
house? I paid for it with blowjobs” so I said “Alright let’s
do it” so this time we go into her car and she decides to
blow me in the parking lot, and its the best blowjob I ever had.
We sit there and I’m blown away by this woman, so I ask her,
“how much would it cost for some pussy?” She then laughs and
points to the casino. “You see that casino?” I said “…yeah?”
She says “If I had a pussy, I would own that casino.”
Update: Holy shit thanks for the gold. The comments have been
awesome and the unexpected tranny attack its been a good day.
finds Isaac outside where he has
drawn a square around himself.
Albert asks Newton “What kind of
hiding place is that Newton?”
and Newton replies “i am
not Newton i am a Pascal.”
Albert asks Newton “What kind of
hiding place is that Newton?”
and Newton replies “i am
not Newton i am a Pascal.”
God smiles serenly and answers:
“Yes, my son, please tell it to me.”
The jew grins and says: “How do you
get the number of a girl in Auschwitz?
You look on her arm!”
God doesn’t laughs, instead, he looks
rather shocked.
The survivor shrugs with his shoulders.
“Eh, I guess you had to be there.
at the guy and he feels humiliated.
After a few minutes, the girl walks
over to him and softly says “I am a
psychology student and I knew what you
were thinking. I guess you
were humiliated, right?”
The guy answers back loudly “200 bucks
for a blow job? Are you fucking kidding me?”.
Everybody looks at the girl and she feels humiliated.
Then the guy says “well I am a lawyer and I know how to make someone feel guilty!!!”.
the bartender says, pouring
the man a shot.
Downing the drink, the man
replies, “And that’s why
I like you better than my barber.“