Cinderella Wanted to Go Out

the fairy godmother said. “I will get you to the ball. I will give you a cairrage, dress, and more.

But be warned, if you do not come back before 12:00 tonight, a pumpkin will grow inside your vagina.” Cinderella agreed, and happily jumped around her room.

Soon, she left for the ball. After a while, the clock struck 11:45 PM, and the fairy godmother was waiting in Cinderella’s room. Soon it struck 12 AM, then 1 AM, then 2 AM.

At around three, Cinderella came home. “So, your vagina doesn’t hurt?” The fairy godmother asked.

“Not at all!” Cinderella replied. “While I was at the ball, I met a man named Peter. Oh, how I loved Peter!”

The Sick Man

ordinary guy,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million.”
Intrigued and impressed, the woman asked for his business card; three weeks later she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Little Johnny’s Neighbour

Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the babys lack of ears.

Johnny looks in the basonet and says “Wow, what a beautiful baby.” The mother replies, ‘Why, Thanks Johnny.”

Johnny says: “He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Is he able to see alright?” “Yes”, says the mum, “we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision.” “That is great”, says Little Johnny, “cause he’d be stuffed if he needed glasses!”

Double click on “My computer”

Computer.. Ok. double click on it..
JACK:what the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..???
Officer:Double click on ur computer..
JACK:On which Icon i’ve to click..
Officer:“My Computer”..
JACK:…Oh u Idiot…… Tell me where is ur office…I’ll
come there and click on ur “Computer.

The Most Important Body Part

The eyes said “I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”
The hands said “Without me we wouldn’t be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”
The stomach said “I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we’d starve. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”
The legs said “Without me we wouldn’t be able to move anywhere. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”
Then the rectum said “I think I should be in charge.”
All the rest of the parts said “YOU? You don’t do anything! You’re not important! You can’t be in charge.”
So the rectum closed up. After a few days, the legs were all wobbly, the stomach was all queasy, the hands were all shaky, the eyes were all watery, and the brain was all cloudy.
They all agreed that they couldn’t take any more of this and agreed to put the rectum in charge.
The moral of the story: You don’t have to be the most important to be in charge, just an asshole.