A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

My boss didn’t know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.


Of course I am gonna drive. I am too drunk to walk.

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don’t drive!

A drunk man never tells a lie.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not

Funny Short Drinking Quotes

Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.

Funny Short Drinking Quotes

I use to think drinking was bad, so I stop thinking.

Funny Short Quotes

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Funny Short Drinking Quotes

May be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Funny Short Drinking Quotes

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

Funny Short Drinking Quotes