Category: Man Jokes

Man Walks into a Library

whispers, “I’d like a hamburger, please.”

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Two gas company servicemen

her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and…

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An Irish man went to confession

Fanny Green?’ ‘A new woman in the neighborhood,’ the sinner replied. ‘Very well,’ sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary’s.; At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon…

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When the Man Declares

couple of sick days from work…”“Suzie was so thrilled to have me around,that every time a mail or delivery personcame by, she’d run down the driveway wavingher arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home!My husband’s home!’”

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Strongest man around

time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice.“I’d like to try the bet.” After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away.Then he handed…

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Man and Woman in Bar

a man on Stacey’s desk and asks,“Is this your brother?” “No, itisn’t, Jim!” Stacey giggles. “Is it your husband?” Staceygiggles even more, “No, silly!”“Then, it must be your boyfriend!”Stacey giggles even more whilenibbling on Jim’s ear. She says,“No, silly!” “Then, who is it?”Stacey replies, “That’s mebefore my operation!”

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When Man Wakes up From His Operation

for another man’ the man says‘what’s the good then?’ Andthe doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’

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Men are an Important Part of This World

can’t buy you a drink! LOL

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Men reports Stolen Credit Card

the thief’s wife hasstarted using it

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When a Drunk Man Falls Down

falling on my face!Wife: Idiot, you leftyour wheelchair at the bar!

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Man in Magic Forest

“You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

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Man Pulled with His Son

up the driveway when the dad steps in a pile of dog poop.“SHIT!” He exclaims.The little boy asks, “Daddy whats shit?”Dad points to his shoe.Sometime later, the boy goes upstairs to the bathroom to see hisdad shaving. He accidentally cuts himself and yells. “NUTS!”“Daddy? Whats nuts?”Dad points to his face.Boy finally goes into this kitchen…

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The Man Walked into Library and Asked for Some Ham and Cheese

librarian, “Can I pleasehave some ham and cheese?”

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A Man Goes to Hell

“Are you sure?”. He screams “Hell, yes!”.The devil goes up to the cheerleader andsays “You can stop now. I found someoneto replace you”

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old Man in Pawn Shop

that’s what you think it’s worth.. you have a deal!”“Great!” replies the pawn broker, shaking his hand.“Here’s twenty bucks,” says the old man. “I’ll buy it right now!”The broker stops, and suddenly looks confused. “Wait…. buy?” he asks.“Yes!” smiles the old man as he flips the guitar over, “This one has asticker price of $150,…

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