Funny Quarantine Quotes Memes, Insta Captions

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Roses are red, oceans are blue, this is me in isolation, how about you?

“Is today boring you? Go outside and lick a stranger’s face.. that should spice things up a bit.“

“ It’s only Quarantine if it’s in the Quarante province of France. Otherwise it’s just Sparkling Isolation.“

“I want to get quarantined with you. – Flirting in 2020.”

“Do you always wanted to be a superhero? Yes, you can be a superhero in the world merely by staying at home. Enjoy quarantine time!”

“If you can’t handle me during the quarantine period, you don’t deserve to be with me when I will be eating cheese pizza after quarantine.”

“If there is someone who is genuinely happy because of quarantine, It’s Netflix organization.”

“Quarantine is temporary. Death is permanent. Choose wisely.”

My isolation… My rules!

If I get mad at you that means I still care. Worry when I don’t get mad.

I love him not for the way he silenced my demons, but for the way his demons dances with mine.

You don’t like me? Fine. Don’t waste my time then.

Cow for Sale

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has a snatch just like a woman. Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife and says,
“It’s just not fair. Here’s this farmer with a cow that has a snatch like a woman and
it’s worth $5,000, and here I am, with you, with a snatch like a cow, and you’re not worth shit.

Why Do Rich People Stay Rich?

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Why do rich people stay rich?

THEY MASTER THE ART OF SPENDING. The common traits among rich is that they work smart to earn by spending least time, effort and money.

Tesla doesn’t spend on advertising. Owners talk about it to their family and friends. They refer their code to friends to get free supercharging.

By the end of Penn and Teller show, the magicians takes selfies, shake hands and answer questions to approx 200 customers every single show. That promoted them as the longest running headline in Vegas.
Amazon US filed nil tax in two consecutive years though they showed increase in profit .

Skip’s kitchen – a californian burger restaurant asks customer to pick up a card from a deck of cards . If they pull out a joker, the meal is free. Skip’s spend just $2 for every $100 spent . They never spent on advertising.

The Hilton Doubletree Hotel gives a warm chocolate chip cookie during every check-in , totally 75,000 cookies are given out each day , 34% of their guests speak about Hilton Doubletree cookie to their friends , that’s almost 25,000 stories spoken about the brand every single day. The hotel spends just $0.20 as a unit cost per cookie .

When John Neville took over as a director of Neptune theatre , he gave free tickets to local taxi drivers who should talk up the shows to their passengers. Two years down the lane, threatre subscription doubled.

Once Mr Dand from India wrote to Warren buffet about investing in a startup that has a market cap of $300 million. Few days later , he received a letter from Berkshire Hathway Inc stating that it’s far too small to be considered as Investment. Here , Mr Buffett has acknowledged a client’s time and effort as well as politely declined his proposal based on company standards. That’s how the rich work smart in spending least time , effort and money .

Why this man wants to live 100 years

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and I stay away from any place with second hand smoke.”
“Do you eat a lot of sugary and greasy foods?”

“No, sir! I carefully watch my diet and caloric intake, and I’m sure to eat plenty of vegetables.”
“Do you go to parties? Stay up late? Are you sexually promiscuous?”

“Not at all! Early to bed and early to rise! And abstinence is key.”
The doctor raises an eyebrow at the man. “So… Why exactly do you want to live to be a hundred?”