A teacher writes DEFINITELY

chance you’ll go to the park but it might rain so it’s not definitely.”
Little Billy raises his hand and says, “My team are definitely going to win the game this Saturday.”

“No, I know you really want your team to win the game this Saturday but wanting is not enough to make it definitely.”
Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “Miss, is there such a thing as a lumpy fart?”
“No.”

“Then I definitely just shat myself.”
EDIT. Thanks for the silver!!
2nd EDIT. Holy hell this blew up! Thanks again everyone!