Adult Jokes: Cheeky and Funny Content for Adults

A man enters a craft chocolates shop and asks if they could make a chocolate model car for him.

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“Sure, no problem”

“And can it look like the VW Beetle that my dad had?”

“Nice idea, no problem at all.”

“And can you make it so that the chocolate doors open and you can see the interior detailed in chocolate, like with a plastic model car? Same with the bonnet and trunk?”

“that will require some planning, but I think i can manage.”

“And i would like the wheels to roll, and if i turn the steering wheel then the wheels should turn as well?”

“Mmmh that is fiendishly difficult in chocolate, I will need to carefully plan and experiment…”

“And finally, can you make it so that the chocolate windows can move up and down when you turn the handles?”

“Man this is insanely difficult. But give me 3 weeks and i’ll try my best.”

Three weeks later the man returns and indeed there is a lovely chocolate VW Beetle model on display. The chocolatier proudly shows it in all its glorious details: interior, wheels, steering wheel, windows, everything works perfect, and after the demo he asks, “shall I put it in a nice gift box?”

“No need, I will just eat it here.”

My Lesbian Neighbors

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A sailor comes to port, and decides he really needs to get laid. So he walks into town, and sees a sign- “Sisters of Mercy Convent & Brothel”. He walks into what appears to be a church. There’s a nun sitting by a table near the door. She intuits what it is he’s looking for, and says, put $5 in this tin cup and walk through that door. The sailor does so, and enters another room, and there’s another nun, with a table and a cup. $10, she says, and go through that door. The sailor goes into a third room, where a third nun with a table and cup asks for $15, and go through that door. The sailor coughs up the dough, and walks through the door. It slams and locks behind him, and he is in an alley behind the church, facing a brick wall with a large sign- “You have just been screwed by the Sisters of Mercy”.

When Hair Stuck in Teeth

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they do not manage to do it. Then John says:
J: Mary I will go to the dentist to help me.

M: If you think this is the best idea then go.
The dentist manages to pull the hair out and ask John:

D: John you did the “nasty” with Mary, didn’t you?
J: Yes doc how did you know, from the hair in my teeth?
D: No John, you have shit on your chin.