What’s better than a hilarious joke? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.
From naughty gags to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humor, look no further. Short rude jokes, jokes, chat-up lines, Rude knock-knock jokes.
float to heaven.” Johnny thinks that’s neat and asks no more questions.
A few weeks later, Johnnys’ dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, “Daddy! Daddy! Mommy’s dying!!” His father says, “Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy’s dying?” “Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys’ balloons and she’s screaming, “Oh God, I’m coming!”
brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,
“How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”
“She’s in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes
with them.”
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around
Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?”
Daves wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam
the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken
him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.
surprise for him when he comes back. Finally comes
the day when he’s due back home and as soon as
he steps through the door they fall in each
other’s arms and the situation quickly turns
into a passionate lovemaking session.
It gets so intense that every position is used
and no hole is left unattended.
They finish with anal and it’s only
when the guy is done that he notices
the tattoos and asks: Who’s Bob?
greatest, isn’t he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok”.
Surprised, the pope follows up with: “He visits every year?! It’s been over two
millennia and we’re still waiting for his SECOND coming!”
The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize.
“Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?”
The pope retorts “Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?”
The alien says “Yea, when he first visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates!
Why? What did you guys do?”
Officer: Madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: well, that’s not prohibited.
– Yesterday I split up with my girlfriend.
– What happened, you were doing so well together.
– We were taking a shower together and she said: Darling, let’s do something really bad
– So what?
– So I spilled shampoo to her eyes
Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.