6.The best day for you in the whole year is April 1 because that’s the day that suits you best.

7. Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position…

8. Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Sardar: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting, but forgot to stop it.

9. A fast beating heart doesn’t always mean love. A blushing face is not always a sign that you’re in love. Sometimes hubog lang! Hahaha

10. Every new year’s I resolve to lose 20 pounds and I do. The problem is that I gain 30.

“Let’s go!” At Stacey’s house, Jim notices a picture of a man on Stacey’s desk and asks, “Is this your brother?” “No, it isn’t, Jim!” Stacey giggles. “Is it your husband?” Stacey giggles even more, “No, silly!” “Then, it must be your boyfriend!” Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim’s ear. She says, “No, silly!” “Then, who is it?” Stacey replies, “That’s me before my operation!”

“Yes I am here my husband”, she says “Kajol, my daughter, are you here”
“Yes I am here father”, she says “Suren, My son, are you here”.

“Yes I am here father”, he says “Well, if all of you are here,
then who is looking after the bloody shop” yells the father.

cart and you get too hot. What do you do?”The student replies “I open the window.”

“Ok. Now that window is 2 feet wide and 3 feet high. The train is traveling 50 mph
going north and the wind is blowing at 15 mph due east. How long will it take for
new air to replace the old air in the cart?”

The student is clearly confused at this impossible question and just answers “I don’t
know”. So the professor gives him an F, dismisses him, and calls in his friend.

He begins asking his friend “you are riding in a train cart and it gets too hot. What do you do? He says “I take my jacket off.”

“Ok. But it’s still too hot. What do you do?”
“I take my shirt off.”

“I understand but it’s very, very hot.”
“I will just get naked.”

“Ok. But there’s a guy in front of you getting a hard-on by watching you strip naked!”
The student replies: “Professor, the entire train can fuck me in the ass I am NOT opening that window!”

The little girl replies, “Because mommy, every time
you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes
over and blows it back up.”

and leaves. The second customer wanders in. The clerk goes over the options with her,
she purchases the black model and is on her way. Her third customer, a little old Polish lady,
comes in some time later.

The clerk describes both options, but the new customer asks “How much for the big red one on
the wall?” The clerk gently explains the difference between the white and black models,

but the customer is adamant about the big red one. When the customer offers the clerk $100, she accepts it.
The boss eventually returns and asks how the day went. The clerk replies “Good! I sold a white d!ld0 for $10,
a black d!ld0 for $20 and your fire extinguisher for $100!”

baby lotion and whipped my cock out.