“…sure you can,” the farmer says “But I like your style. I’ll put you to work.”

So the man does a few chores around the farm and earns his meal. At dinner, he says to the farmer, “I know you don’t believe me, but I actually do communicate with animals. I can prove it. I spoke to the hens, and they said you were there every morning before dawn to collect their eggs, and you’ve been doing so every day for years since your wife passed.”

The farmer says, “Wow, that’s exactly right!”

The man continues, “I spoke to your cow, and she said you’ve faithfully milked her every day before dawn, and you’ve been doing so every day for years since your wife passed.”
The farmer says, “I’m amazed. That’s true.”

The man says, “And I spoke to your sheep…”
“That sheep’s a fucking liar!”

as a nurse and a lady, in my 20 years in this profession, I haven’t once laughed at a patient. I’ve seen all manners of shapes and sizes, you can trust that I shall remain professional and courteous”
The man, satisfied with her response, dropped his trousers to around his knees, exposing the tiniest penis the nurse had ever seen (no larger than a AAA battery), and with that, she couldn’t contain her laughter.

Instantly and without warning she was rolling around on the floor, tears streaming down her face as she laughed. After about 5 minutes (possibly the longest 5 minutes of the man’s life) she finally managed to stand up and compose herself.

“I’m so terribly sorry sir. Please forgive me, that was wholly unprofessional. Now, what seems to be the issue”
“It’s swollen…”

her and says I bet your underwear is blue. His teacher smiles and says no and lifts up her skirt to show she is not wearing any underwear. Johnny smiles and says my dad will pay you the 25 dollars.

The teacher shows up to Johnny’s house and talks to his dad and tells him that Johnny did not correctly guess her underwear color because she was not wearing any.
His dad says that fucker just won a 100 dollar bet with me about seeing your pussy.

It must be miles away by now.””No, you don’t understand!”
answers the doctor, “I’ll put
some cream on the place you were stung.”

“Oh! It happened in the garden in back of my house.”
“No, no, no!” says the doctor getting frustrated, “I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting you.”

“On my finger!” screamed the man in pain. “The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts.”
“Which one?” the doctor.
“How am I supposed to know? All bees look the same to me!”