Couple on Sofa

racehorse I put a bet on a few days ago’. Satisfied, the wife apologised to her husband.Several days later the husband is lounging on the sofa when his wife comes up behind him and snacks him over the head.‘WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?’, he roared, leaping up and holding his head in pain.The wife…

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A Human Couple Meets an Alien Couple

grows longer! Then he asks her, “Is it wide enough?” and again she says.“I guess it could be just a bit wider.” So he starts tugging at his ownears and it gets a bit wider. An hour or so later the human couple get together to discuss. The man asksthe woman, “So how was your…

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Father and Son in Pharmacy

is for college boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday.”“I see, what about the 6-pack?”“That one is for young bachelors. Twice on a Friday, twice on a Saturday, and twice on a Sunday.”The boy’s eyes widened as he asked, “And what about the 12-pack?”“The 12-pack is for married men. One for…

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Woman Drop Her Purse

“Thank you so much” she said, “Where is it?”I said, “I’ve just told you, on the flooroutside McDonald’s.”

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Gorgeous Girl on a Wheel Chair

a harness out of the bag, instructing the guy to install it on the tree and help her to get “in position”. They have weird but awesome love, and when they’re done he lifts her from the harness, sits her on the wheelchair and helps her get inside her home. As he is walking away…

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Man Pulled with His Son

up the driveway when the dad steps in a pile of dog poop.“SHIT!” He exclaims.The little boy asks, “Daddy whats shit?”Dad points to his shoe.Sometime later, the boy goes upstairs to the bathroom to see hisdad shaving. He accidentally cuts himself and yells. “NUTS!”“Daddy? Whats nuts?”Dad points to his face.Boy finally goes into this kitchen…

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Boy Asked Her Mom What this

mummy a baby ?”“yeh I did son, that’s right why do you ask…?”“well don’t give her another, she ate the last one!”

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Police Officer watching Speeding Cars

confused “the sign back there says 10.”“You’re mistaken ma’am, that sign was to tell you that this is route 10, the limit here 60.”“Oh, my” says the woman very embarrassed, “I am so sorry, I will pay closer attention to the signs.” At this point the police officer notices the other passengers in the car:…

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Why Don’t you Ever see Elephants Hiding in Trees

in cherry trees.What is the loudest sound in the jungle?Giraffes eating cherries.

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A Guy Walked Into a Bar With a Monkey

his mouth and somehow swallowed it whole.The bartender looked at the guy and said, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”“No, what?”“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table – whole!”

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When Food Critic Visits a Local Restaurant

is something missing in his bowl of soup.The owner asks whether it is too spicy orsweet or salty. When the food critic saysno, the owner decides to taste the soup himself but he can’t find the spoon.“Yeah,” says the critic, “that’s what is missing.”

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He Ignore the Shouts Woman

had I not realized that itwas the singer Adele.

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A Barber Shop Joke

asked the son where his father was.The boy shocked us by saying,“That man was not my father. He just toldme that if I wanted to get a free haircutat the barbershop, I should come with him.”

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Sad Life of a Mosquito

to his problems and told him thathe should really visit a therapistinstead of a doctor.The mosquito replied, “Yeah, I know.I just came in because of the blood.”

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Boy Need a Girl for Dance

dance with the girl. The girl wantedto have some apple punch so the boywent to get it, but to his surprise,there was no punch line.

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