When Lawyer is Out for a Drive

me sick. Here you are, going on about your precious car, and you didn’t even notice your left arm was torn off in the crash.”The man looks down at the bloody stump, and with mounting horror, exclaims, “My Rolex!”

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When Cop knocks on the Door

“Yeah I know but she has agreat personality.”

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When Little Johnny Read his Story

exclaimed. “Is he OK?” “He must be,” said Little Johnny.“He stopped calling for help yesterday

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When Ex-girlfriend Wants to Come Back

I win the lottery and now THIS!!!

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When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard

his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.” He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…” Suddenly the realization of what was…

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When flat earth goes into heaven

100% a globe.” The flat earther exclaims, “Holy crap!This conspiracy runs deeper than I thought!”

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When beer Company CEO order Cock

which he replied:“I figured if you 3 weren’t orderingbeer it would be rude for me to.”

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When Little Jealous boy wants attention

the mailman, a neighbor, and the pizzathe delivery guy was found dead.

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When Doctor Feel Guilty

that said: “Mike, don’t worry about it. You aren’t thefirst medical practitioner to sleep with one of yourpatients, and you won’t be the last. And you’re single.Just let it go, Mike.” But invariably another voice in his head would bringhim back to reality, whispering: What’s wrong with you Mike, you’re a veterinarian.

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When Little Johnny Knows Secret of His Father

Shouted Little Johnny. “How would you know that?”Shouted his dad from the bedroom. “He’s sitting on his front porch with a lollipop, counting bluecars!” Little Johnny shouted back.

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When Girl wants more romantic. but this boy wants something else

BOY: “Fine, give me…a blow job in the rain.”

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When His Mother’s Toy Flies Out

turns around and says,“Don’t worry, dear. That was just an insect.”“Wow,” the boy replies. “I’m surprised it couldget off the groundwith a cock like that!”

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When Little Johnny Talk Like An Adult

but let’s talk like an adult,remember? “My family enjoyed afine bowl of macaroni and cheese” –.do you see? OK, Becky, you try: What pets do you have? Becky: My mommy has a kitty and my daddy has a bunny.Mrs. Smith: That’s great, but as an adult, remember? “My mother has a cat and my father…

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When Blind man order a dirty fork

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork.He returns to the blind man’s table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.“Ah, yes, that’s what I’ll have — meatloaf and mashed potatoes.” Unbelievable,…

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When he found chest with gold coins.

tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

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